Tag Archives: communication

Are you speaking your partner’s love language?

Do you ever wonder why your partner doesn’t get excited about the new socks you spent ten minutes picking out for them? Or why they don’t feel your love through your actions? You might be speaking two different love languages.

The theory of Love Languages was created by marriage counselor Gary Chapman. The idea is that every person subscribes to one of five love languages: acts of service, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, or physical touch. Each of these specific ‘languages’ is a valuable part of any relationship but it is still important to recognize that you (and your partner) could have a preference to one over the other.

Acts of service: An action done out of love, not obligation (example: Making your partner’s favorite meal for them)

Receiving gifts: Giving a gift that is meaningful to the recipient (example: Buying your partner flowers)

Words of affirmation: Love shown through words (example: “You have the best smile”)

Quality time: Giving undivided attention (example: Putting your partner at the center of your attention, all distractions aside)

Physical touch: Physical closeness (example: Holding hands, hugging, cuddling up with your partner)

Although the age-old “golden rule” tells us that we should treat others how we would like to be treated, it is also important to consider how they would like to be treated. If your love language is, for example, quality time, you likely treat your partner in a way you would like to be treated in that regard. If their love language is acts of service, they may not have reacted how you had hoped. This is when miscommunication occurs and disappointment is likely. Communication can be improved if you can understand the language that makes your partner feel loved, and, your partner can understand the language that makes you feel loved.

Take the quiz below to discover your love language!


This blog post was written by Haley Thomas, our intern. She is a fourth year psychology student at Spring Hill College. Her internship at here at Hurley will provide valuable experince that she can take with her on her path to becoming a mental health counselor.


Sexting We Approve

With some free time while his girlfriend was working at a women’s shelter nearby, Michael Oonk did the unthinkable: housework! After a long day of work, school, or life, no one wants to come home to a messy house and have to clean it up, but that is exactly what Oonk did. In an interview, he said that he and his girlfriend Laine both contribute to the upkeep of their home but that night, she wasn’t home and had had a very busy day. He decided to clean up the house and send her pictures of him doing so. What’s sexier than knowing once you get home from work, you get to relax because everything is already done? Oonk posted these photos on Facebook to remind everyone that it is the “small, everyday gestures” that show people you love them. He says that small gestures, like leaving a note in one another’s lunchbox, are things the couple regularly do because “the little things add up.”

Man Goes Viral for “Sexy” Chore Photos for Girlfriend

This couple’s thoughtfulness goes far in the world of communication. Acts of service are sometimes just as valuable as words of kindness. An act of service is something you do for someone, freely given with no strings attached, that makes them feel loved. It could be something as small as cooking breakfast for them while they stay in bed or running an errand for them, or something like cleaning the whole house. This act says, “I know you have had a busy day and you deserve the chance to relax,” without explicitly saying it. We couldn’t agree more with Oonk, so surprise the one you love by doing the not-so-fun task before they get home and spend the time you have together, together!

Tell us, or show us, some of your favorite acts of service by commenting below.